Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Finals Week 1st Post

Writing to:  Mansions on the Moon –Paradise Falls (Mixtape)

We’re skipping orientation and jumping right into this shit… I’ll make sense out of all this soon
          But for now I’ll set the scene… 
Finals Week at UCF:  Considering the occasion I thought it be appropriate to allot at least 20 minutes into looking for Library rumored to be on my campus. 

Unfortunately, no UCF Alum felt like blowing a couple mil so it’s not even named after anyone…  

   And so we can’t refer to our library like every other College Floridian

           “Club” + “The Nickname of the billionaire who it’s named after”
                  Ex. Club Richter, Club Stroz

 As a general note, sincere appologies if “All Nighter at Club Stoz” was your next status…. I know how close you were to being clever

Drawing upon my memories at  U.Miami  this Library was a bit different. 

1st. UCF isn’t 50% foreigners so the entrance here wasn’t blocked with half the student body chain-smoking personal cartons talking about their summers in Cannes.

2nd There was no Adderall in any of the vending machines***
 *** That being said the girl across from me hadn’t blinked for the 4-5 hours I was in the library so there’s a chance she had just wiped the place out before I go there.

Luckily the 5 Hour Energy “Brand Ambassadors” were there

At first I couldn’t figure out how 5 hour Energy could afford Brand Ambassadors with the money they blow on their big budget advertisements

       Then I realized they must be rolling in it because they charge $$3.49 for dirty water blended with 17000% of your daily recommended Vitamin B. 

    I gave mine away.  The kid sitting next to me had finished his first bottle off real fast and still needed something to wash down his 10mg with. 

Now I’d double check, but I can’t imagine a Medical Professional doing anything but recommending the 10 Hour Energy 10 mg Combo.

Studying went as planned, I followed the 1:3 Principle allotting my self 3 hours of time for every hour I needed to be productive.  Shout out to The Social Network.
Oh and I won’t do this every time unfortunately but I will point out some hot, unique, trends that can really make you stand out as individual.

A.     1. This bag,   Don’t worry you’ll be the only person with one.  And I promise not to make rash generalizations like that you’re in a sorority.

B.    2.  Fedora or Oversized bow, no really, I mean it, you look great wearing a fucking fedora.

As a quick added special I thought I’d shed a light on the age-old question that I had been asked a couple times while in the Library

“OMG haha that’s so weird how did you know I was in a sorority?”

A.     1. First, your name isn’t Aphrodite and you don’t look Mediterranean so I’ll use the Greek letters on your key chain and sweatshirt, along with the Sigma Chi T-Shirt as a clue.
B.    2.  The fact that you love your “little” oh so much…you can’t be serious I had no clue, you have a post on Facebook about it…What you already have 17 times?  Oh bummer guess you had me beat.
C.     3. The fact that this happens 47 times with 47 different people over the course of 2 hours…

Girl 1: Sarah?! haven’t seen you forever, what are you doing here?
Her Betch Sarah: I know! Ummm studying for finals…ugh kill me
Girl 1: haha too funny me too, you going to (Insert nearby bar that serves alcohol to 15 year olds) after chapter tonight?
Her Betch Sarah:  Ughhh NO I Can’t but I gotta go I’ll text you!

**note: the fact that you haven’t stopped fondling your Iphone during the entirety of the conversations makes me feel as if you don’t really care about what your Betch Sarah is saying and it’s a shame because it seems really interesting….

Anyway that’s the first post, they normally won’t be a breath by breath documentation of my day (don’t worry) but before I head out, here’s some shameless in house promotion from my client (Well not officially) and roommate Chris Tart AKA Smoking Coyote

His newest mix:  

Shout out to Meg Ryan and Randi Wang for the Album art 

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