Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Almorzar


Listening- Diplo blow your head 10 

what runs through my mind while eating my chicken salad wrap at UCF

a.   Stop eating your Asian Chao with chop sticks. Rule of thumb: If you order your “Chinese” food from a restaurant with a Panda Logo and a cashier named Juanita use a fork
b.    b. If I was ever a billionaire I’d want to put together a massive EDM music festival and put it in Jackson, Mississippi or Little Rock, Arkansas…
c.      c. I’d also hire someone to assassinate Flo-Rida, as if I didn’t have to listen to Levels enough during Bud Light Platinum commercials
d.    d.  I’d also hire someone to assassinate LMFAO but, I’ll admit the Party Rock Song really brings the hamster Kia commercial together
e.     e. Fuck Bud Light Platinum, I’d say you’re not fooling anyone but you definitely are
f.     f. I take that back, I’ll probably wind up needing Bud Light Platinum as the sponsor for my brilliant music festival
g.     g.Read the Lyrics of Foster and the People’s “Pumped up Kicks”
h.     h.If you are going to Ultra you should wear Neon because your raving bro
i.       i.Long boards, I love them! Everyone should just use them all over campus
j.       j.My little Brother’s bar mitzvah is this weekend but has been primarily organized by my Italian Father… Bagels and Prosciutto for everyone
k.     k.I recently started watching breaking bad…. Beside Mobile, Alabama I’m going to say that Albuquerque, New Mexico would be the one place I wouldn’t even Subject Hitler to.   Meth man…Meth
l.       l.KONY 2012!
m.   m.Next rounds on me boys!  Just sold all my Aeropostale graphic t’s at Platos
n.     o.No no, I know you’re not anything like the other sororities!
o.     p. Did anyone know you needed a prescription for adderall?  Fooled me
p.     q. OHHHHHHH sometimes I get a nah nah nah .....AHHh! I always forget the words

Friday, January 27, 2012

Waking up to 50 cent

  I know I haven't posted in over a month... your boys been busy and without and Psychotic dictators passing away I've been pressed for things to write about

A Tribute

That being said I'll compare this to when you were a child and your really wanted a pet and your parents were like no...

    If you lived in Sarasota or any other city on the coast of the Florida your parents would eventually realize by buying you the pet you would be quite and they could go back to their Binge drinking with colleagues and your mom wouldn't feel so bad about the affair she's having with that one bartender at that one bar she goes to all the time after her book club

Anyway, most kids want Dogs I was terrified of them I was more of a hermit crab kind of kid and it was cool because my grandpa was the land lord for some company where they decorated the Hermit grab shell with Glitter and these little sunglasses.  It was adorable I'm sure PETA would have been thrilled.

**As a side note I can't imagine that decorating hermit crab shells was profitable so I'll just assume they just moved mass quantities of heroine
** I just read up on hermit crabs on wikipedia, those fuckers are terrifying outside of their shell 

    Before I went ADHD on you the metaphor was that I'm a bad blog owner as we were all bad pet owners.

    Anyway Avicii is coming to the UCF arena later on today, but don't worry i didn't have to tell you about it just walk around campus and eavesdrop on any conversation between two girls with vera bradley bags or any group of guys wearing a Heat jersey/ UM T-shirt

Girl 1: Avicii is coming!
Girl 2:  UGHHH YESS I love that Cinema Song
Girl 1: NO No lol that's David Guetta,  Avicii is the band who does "NAh Nah NAh Sometimes I get a good feeling"
Girl 2: AHH can't wait, lets go binge drink and complain that we broke our I phones as if we'd actually have to spend our own money to replace it.
** Question, do you think middle easter sorority girls wear Vera Bradley Burqas

        Anyway my dear friend "Jeremy" short for his legal name Jweezy is here so were going to
Chick-Fil-a for their buy a milkshake get a chicken sandwich free promo.... even though the promotion is at Christ-fil-a my jewdar is still picking up on this like crazy